guilty-daydreamer: bluntasaurus-sex: dameofspace: pandyssian: OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this: my life is a lie. “I used to be and...
Anonymous asked: What are the top three traits you look for in a girlfriend?
Honesty hour. Nothing will be unanswered, ignored...
Anons to answer in a half-hour?
Anonymous asked: How big do you like them?
Anonymous asked: You are so sexy. I would love for you to grab my belly and ass .I am nice and soft and have plenty of fat for you to play with. I could then take your hard cock and have you fuck my mouth until you cum...
I want to be smothered right now.
Glorious, big, soft fat pressed against my face… Jiggling as I kiss it… FUCK.
I wish she was beside me.
Sometimes I get really curious as to who my anons...
Then I realize that I hardly get any anonymous messages anymore, so it doesn’t really matter.
Anonymous asked: Glad that you're happy. But I'm seriously SO disappointed that you have a girlfriend. The things I would do to you, my word...
Justine: Do you like having all your fingers?
Me: Do you?
Long day at work. You should totally send me...
dirtybongobeats: lowkeat: Today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have an absence of heat; and it made me think that maybe hatred doesn’t exist, and there’s only an absence of love. this is the realist shit I’ve ever read
She's so much better than I deserve.
I had one of those days where I was really down on myself. An “I don’t feel pretty” day. I wish I was taller (she’s about an inch taller than me). I wish I was muscular. I wish I looked GOOD. Idk, I just feel like whatever “sexy” is, I’m not it, and I wish I was for her. Come to think of it, I’ve never honestly felt like I was sexy enough for...
mysteryperson1 asked: Are you trying to make me miss the 90s? XD
iguanamouth: I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DINOSAUR BONES LIKE SOME OF THEM ARE SO FUCKING BIG YOU KNOW PEOPLE USED TO DIG THOSE UP AND THINK THEY WERE FROM DRAGONS THE LARGEST SKULL EVER FOUND WAS OVER 8 GODDAMN FEET LONG FROM A TOROSAURUS THATS FUCKING INSANE IM SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS I LOV E DINOSAURS LETS GO BURN DOWN THE POST OFFICE
Good thing about pre-masturbatory tissues...
They’re right there when a fucking huge-ass spider is crawling along my ceiling. No free rent, asshole.
bemusedlybespectacled: if you ever think mythology is boring or serious business or whatever shit just remember that cerberus, the hell-hound and guard dog of the underworld, comes from the root indo-european word ḱerberos, which evolved into the greek word kerberos, which got changed to cerberus when it went from greek to latin ḱerberos means “spotted” that’s right hades, lord of the dead,...